The List

Jeremy, being the responsible one, has already put up his review for this week. I doubt Jeremy spent five hours in an overheating truck today attempting to make his way in and out of the concrete and column prison known as DC. I also doubt he spent what little remained of the daylight hours standing inside sweltering mechanical rooms drawing ductwork and piping for the man. Oh, wait. That's right! That was my day and now I'm tired and whiny which means I'm turning a little black like Kanye. But those aren't even the excuses why I'm not doing my review today. My real excuse is that I have all my research at work and I didn't stop by on my way home from DC to pick it up. I should have stuck with the whiny bitch thing, shouldn't I have?

So, instead, I figured I'd treat another open festering sore and give you the final list of gurus we'll be reviewing this year, now with extra cool picture linking goodness. Without further ado, here it is:

1. Eric Karabell - The lovable and easier to look at than some others who shall not be named face of ESPN's Fantasy Football department. If available, he'd like to take you sister to prom.



2. Scott Engel - He's no looker like Karabell but someone, somewhere thinks he knows something about football. We're currently still looking for that person. We'll keep you abreast of any major breakthroughs. On a more personal note, he thinks you'd look good bald.



3. Jamey Eisenburg - Jamey would ask that you please ignore the homosexual spelling of his first name and concentrate on the issues. Always the consummate professional, that's why we love Jamey. Jamey, Jamey Jamey.



4. Brad Evans - Brad enjoys the simple things in life, like making fun of white people and peeing without using his hands. He's seen a football once and, to quote his grandmother, "He enjoyed it very much." Around the office he's known as Mr. Exclusive or Exclusive. I can never remember which.



5. The Fantasy Shark Guys - Unlike many of their cousins within the genus, these sharks prefer to swim in schools, hunt in packs and play mahjong on Friday nights. Because of their shear absurdity in number, we'll take them as a group collective. All these fantasy guys look the same to me anyway. Pictured below is the king fish - I'm told there government's the derivative of a limited autocracy.




There you have it. If you want us to review anyone else, too bad. This shit's already turning into too much work (just kidding, kind of). Five seems like a good number. I'm sticking with it. And before I forget, check out Jeremy's review below. He's good.

Anybody else feel like this list resembles something out of a high school yearbook or the Sunday obituary?