Angels Among Us

Well, it seems they are human after all. This weekend, the big boys of fantasy finally decided to come down off their high and mighty cloud and pay us lesser mortals a visit. Maybe it was just a quickie for the holidays - you know, pay a little attention to the friends and family. Maybe they built there Tower of Babal too high and God had to knock them down a peg or two. Maybe Brady got bored and figured he might as well impregnate two or three supermodels in the mean time. Maybe it was opposite day. Maybe they'll head right back up to were they came from. But my theory, and I'm willing to defend this, is they came down for no other reason than to fuck as many fantasy players as possible, right in the ass thick of the playoffs.

Brady throws no touchdowns - inconceivable. Doesn't this guy control the weather with his mind or possibly his manhood. I know he controls the collective will of millions of women with the latter. Just ask my wife.

If there were no touchdowns through the air for "the great one", then his partner in crime must have put up some serious yardage right? Something in the range of 150 to a million? That 79 yards receiving next to Moss' name must be a typo, right?

And what of the leagues other dynamic duo? Surely they pulled up the slack and posted monster numbers. I know, they messed up the stat line and put the "3" in Romo's interception column instead of rightly filing it under the "Touchdown" heading. And if that's the case, then at least two of those three must have been gone to T.O. (the other going, of course, to Witten). He couldn't have bombed two weeks in a row - not the most exciting/loudest player in the game. Wait!? Those really were interceptions and none of them went to T.O. because he's on offense and that's impossible? Shit on a windmill!

Any I'm missing? Judging by the scores around my respective leagues this week, I'd say there are more than a couple I've forgotten.

Sidenote: I won the only playoff game I was in primarily because T.O., T.G. (Tony Gonzalez) and to some extent Ryan Grant all shit the bed. I'd like to send a heartfelt, "Thank you!" to each and every one of them. I was the 4th place team, playing the 1st place team and high scorer in the league. Fantasy football truly is a fickle bitch sometimes. Lucky I didn't end up on the short end of the dick stick like Jeremy.