A Year of Snow, A Year of Plenty

Just because we haven't featured much on our Gurus lately doesn't mean we've forgotten about them. In fact, we've been keeping close tabs on them, though not actually tabulating. I've been using Jamey's weekly sit/start as somewhat of a guide each week, choosing to ignore some of the more asinine recommendations. And Jeremy's been masturbating to the stock photo of Eric Karabell displayed on his weblog over at ESPN.com for the better part of a week straight now. Obviously, he's getting pretty chaffed and crampy. Typing with one hand proved too much for him and thus explains his M.I.A. status.

Apparently, our boy Jamey spent Sunday night harping or possibly lamenting or maybe both on the same things I was harping on yesterday in his weekly Four Down segment. And, no, it has nothing to do with four downs babies. What? You thought we just read the weekly predictions? Fuck that! We're all over this shit. Just last week I sat outside Jamey's house all night waiting for him to come home so I could...nevermind. Point is, I stepped on a nail crossing the road - ninja shoes don't have a thick sole - and had to abandon the mission. Let's just leave it at committed, ok?

He used the same examples I did, adding Joseph Addia to the list along with everyone from the Brown's game against the Bills. He gave the latter a pass based on the weather, I can only assume because four inches of snow is hard to play in? What is this pee-wee ball? In college we'd play football every time it snowed a significant amount and we were damn good. Sure, it wasn't a professional game and we were all wasted off our asses but I'll be damned if we didn't bring it.

Which, in a very round-about way, brings me to my point: You've got to check the weather report, people. It's really the X factor that can affect your entire lineup. There are simply some conditions that are too much to overcome, even for the best. With each winter weekend offering up an opportunity for disagreeable weather, it doesn't take a meteorologist to figure out what to do with you lineup.

Weather affects the game well before players take the field. If there's a less than favorable forecast, coaches will change their strategies to attempt to counteract the weather's influence. The Patriots game is a perfect example. The Pats, a throw first, run second team flipped the universe on its end and went run first because of a strong wind. Speaking of wind, does anything else dictate a game more, in terms of weather events? The only other comparable situations I can think of are a good amount of snow and having to play at Heinz field. Wind changes everything. It forced the Pats to give Maroney 26 carries, it forced Eli Manning to complete only 18 of 52 pass attempts - "forced" may be a little strong considering it's Eli -and it contributed to there not being a touchdown scored in the Brown vs. Bills game. Wind can take down even the mightiest of quarterbacks, see Tom Brady, and consequently the receiving corp those quarterbacks are heaving the ball towards.

Now, more than ever, you've got to check the game day weather. Hopefully, you're in the playoffs looking to either wrangle in some cash, some respect or maybe a little of both. Don't miss out on the glory or the green because you started the guy playing in a blizzard. If any week was an illustration of that, it's this past one.

Wind - sit the QB and wide receivers and start the running back. Snow - same as wind. Rain - it's been raining all year, you should know what to do.

There you have it. The answer to every type of weather possible. Now, meditate on what you have learned while attempting to autofellate for at least an hour every day until Sunday.

Site News: I haven't given up on the reviews/grading either. I'm off work from this Friday through the new year and I'm hoping to use some of that time for catch up. And if anyone sees Jeremy, please let him know they've released the dogs. Thanks.